Preparation

My new SHORT hair!! So Funky!! And I've been requested to put more pics of the puppy on here... he is totally rocking the short hair too!

So I’m trying to prepare myself for the changes that are coming up in my not so distant future. I have had long hair for MOST of my life...at least shoulder length. My hair is brown and curly, really curly! No one else in my family has such curly hair, but it has been a nuisance my entire life. The first 12 years of my life I was not introduces to hair gel. Can you imagine?! So what did we do?? Cut it short and brushed it out. Yup…FRO!! I was a mushroom head! Thanks mom :) When I finally discovered there was a thing called hair gel in sixth grade, it saved my hair life. Wow, curly hair was not a demon put here to make my hair life miserable, it could be managed, and actually look…good! So good that with the training from my hair stylist Ash, I won ‘Best Hair’ in our Senior Who’s Who yearbook. My senior year of high school I had very long brown, curly hair. It was time consuming, but really it was beautiful. We started a good relationship, and I was known for my curly hair and actually started to enjoy my curls (even though I was introduced to a straightener, my goodness I could not live without that either!). I started dating Andrew in 2004 and he told me that my curly hair was one of the characteristic that he LOVED about me. But in 2005, I had to have brain surgery, and they had to shave half of my head. So for a few months, I had shorter hair on top, and a shaved head underneath…totally something we used to do in 5th grade, but not as a 21 year old :) My hair grew back eventually, but here I am again…with a new hair dilemma.

The ‘A’ drug that they are using for one of my four chemo drugs is the one the doctor again said ‘That’s the drug that’s gonna make your beautiful curly hair fall out.’ I thought I was prepared to hear this, but when Dr. Powell said it, I felt a lump grow in my throat. Hair should not define beauty, but you really don't appreciate your hair until someone says its going to be taken away from you. At least I didn't. Most people who have this 'A' drug start losing their hair after the second round of chemo. So for me…it’s coming. And somehow I had to feel prepared for it. So Ash helped me once again feel beautiful. She cut my hair short without any hesitation, making me feel more confident in this decision and I love her for that (my hair has not been this short since second grade!) I didn’t want to see my long hair falling out, I’m not sure if I would have been ok with that even though I told myself at least 50 times I would. So I took the plunge and prepared myself. Cutting my hair short was an option, so I took it and ran with it...and I'm so glad I did! She did such a great job and it looks pretty good! It's crazy, and I never would have cut my hair this short before, but hey...it really is just hair right?? Bigger things in Life to worry over, but I think losing my long locks would have been like losing a friend :) So we parted our ways, only to be returned again soon! And it will grow back :) (Plus, now it won’t clog up the drain so much right now…you’re welcome Andrew! :)
Andrew was a sport about my hair, too. When I told him my plans, inside I knew he was screaming ‘NO!’ but on the outside he said ‘Do what ever you want babe, I’ll support you.’ See, when I asked him why he doesn’t like short hair, he told me that it reminds him of when I was sick the last time in 2005. I had long hair the whole time we dated and when he left for Boot Camp is when I first started getting sick. The next time he saw me, my hair was short and then half way shaved. He must have been shocked…but he kept on loving me, even in the ugly days. I know right now it’s not his favorite hair style, but he tells me ‘whether short or long hair, you’re still a beautiful woman.’ Could I ask for any better?
So yes, my long hair may have been a nuisance and was put in a pony tail way too often, but I’m going to miss it and I will welcome it back with open arms. Never thought I'd say that, but I'm not sure how I would react if it grew back blond and straight :) 'So curly brown hair, please come back…we kinda go good together and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you enough how much I enjoyed you'. Hey, maybe I’ll get lucky and not lose my hair! It could happen!! I actually kinda wish I would have been more daring with my hair before...I mean who cares right...purple hair, why not?! Thanks for your support my friends. I really could not be doing this without you, really. And Alaina, your short hair and headbands were an inspiration for me to do this too! Thanks for lunch, and hopefully I will look as good as you my dear :)

A pic with my wonderful husband...I love you AJ, even with your short hair too!

For those of you who didn't know us then, when Andrew and I started dating, he had the shaggy punk rock look until Basic Training...I LOVED his longer hair, but I loved him through his short hair cut too :)

This is us in April of 2005 (his hair was actually a little longer than this, right above his eyes), right before he left in June and before my surgery in August.

We were so young!!

Usually I tend to wear my hair straight now a days, but this was a curly hair day, right before the plunge :)

So time will tell what will happen with me and my hair...it's just another chapter in the story of my Life. I'm starting to work on my inner beauty, appreciating what's there more and trying to let it show to compensate for the outer beauty when I may not be looking so hot :) We as girls are always so hard on ourselves. I know Andrew married me, not because of my outer beauty,(some days we all wish we looked like models though), but because I'm me and he fell in love with me, the whole package. ME! And I am SO happy he did!!! We ALL need to start feeling good and focusing on what's on the inside of us, because that's what our men really love, instead of focusing so much on the outside of us...besides, that's what really matters in the end, right? :)

So here we go ladies...this has helped me through this phase of cancer. God's 'the man', and this is what He thinks :)
1 Peter 3:3-4 'Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.