Sunday, December 9, 2012

The sweet sound of Grace

Greetings! This fall, like every fall, has been an adjustment and time is just flying by!  Going back to work after the summer off always is hard, but this year since I took on a new position, I found myself busier than usual, and I found myself consumed with work once again.  But I'm starting to find the balance in life again, but it's a work in progress...I'm a work in progress I've discovered! I really thought when I was young that by the time I was this age I'd have life all figured out...yeah right! ;) You really do never stop learning!  For the health side of things in my life, I don't go back for another cancer scan until February 2nd (yea!) and I went for my yearly OB/GYN appointment this past fall.  Since there is obviously no baby yet, she did some blood draws and found that I still have PCOS.  This doesn't mean that I can't have a baby (and I'm hoping I'm not part of the 20% infertility because of the chemo drugs used), it just means that when Andrew and I are ready, we will start on the fertility treatment road.  However before that starts, I wanted to get the ok from my doctor that I am 'healthy'.  I was losing some weight and having some stomach and chest pains, but come to discover it's probably just stress related and the pain in my chest could be the damage done from my radiation.  That makes the most sense since I've had the pain since cancer and it won't go away.  My cell count is still up and down all the time (cue in the flu a couple weeks ago and bronchitis this week :( ), so we'll just continue to monitor it.  So during this season, I'm just going to be thankful for the health that I do have and not worry about things so much.  In perspective, I am certainly blessed with the life that I have.  But I do want to get back to running and eating right...that's when I feel my best! In the mean time, I've done some pretty cool things and have actually marked another thing off my Remission Bucket List...I had a part in the Encore Theatre production of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever!  Here's a few other things I've been up to the last few months...

The last member of this group is married off! Congrats Kayla! We now have a picture of all of us at each persons wedding :)

Andrew and I and our pumpkins from the farm this year...see how happy he is to take family pictures? ;)

Now this little bundle of joy is a reason to smile!!
I also did the Color Run in Cincinnati with some of the ladies from the fire department.  And the sponsor for the run was the Leukemia and Lymphoma perfect! And of course I had to get a pic in front of Bob's and the Great American Ballpark! Too bad the Reds didn't go the World Series :(  We were a little sad over here...oh well, there is always next year!

You started out white, but by the end, you were covered in colored dust!


Such a good time! Thanks ladies!

He is gonna be such a good dad someday :)

And...I was able to take a trip in October to see my sister in Mississippi! AND IT WAS A SURPRISE!  She thought it was just my mom who was coming out, but when we finally arrived at the airport (10 hours after our original arrival time!) I jumped out and hugged her and she was totally surprised...success! However, it was hard to leave my MaciMace, she has a way to love on you that just makes every care go away! Oh and...Julie is pregnant! Lil' 'Sippi will be here in May!

Andrew and I were lucky enough to be invited to a Masquerade Ball! We had a lot of fun with friends and dancing, and I love getting the opportunity to get all dressed up :)

Here is my momma and I at Encore...I encouraged her to come audition with me and she did, and got a part too!


And...My amazing, would do anything for me (even if he REALLY wouldn't want to ;) husband had a very small part it the play too.  They needed a few fireman for one small scene and the director's husband and a few others from the LFD helped out.  Thank you Andrew! Your part was the kid's favorite part! I was Mrs. McCarthy in the play, I'm dressed for the scene were I was baking/burned the applesause cake...that didn't take much acting at all ;)
This Pursuit after Cancer is certainly a whirlwind! You know when you are little, you have these ideas of what your life will be like.  But when you 'grow up', it's like BAM!...reality hits.  For me, I've realized just how small I really am in this great big world, having a family doesn't come as easily as the 'birds and the bees', and life really is so short, so enjoy it!  Over the past few months, I've had to remember what it was that kept me sane in this insane world. And what I came back to was the faith that I relied so heavily on during cancer, is the same faith I should rely on everyday, even when I'm not sick. And lucky for me, God was still there waiting for me. :) Just like the stars on a cloudy night when you can't see them, they are still there, and so is God. He never leaves you. He may let you go through the ringer, but it's just to get you searching for His grace once again. And that is something I have always struggled with, accepting God's grace, and man is it so sweet!  I get so concerned about being 'the best I can be', but really, if I start living up to the expectations that God has for me (not my own) and if start to understand God's grace a little bit better, this world isn't so scary and I may not be so stressed. If I instill a little more of Him (and a little less of me), I'm sure to find peace through His that's what I'm doing as I enter this next stage in my life. I'm only 28 with a long road ahead of me full of things I may not even imagine right now!! That is exciting, not scary!  So I'll keep living life for the future and continue to live and trust my life for an Audience of One.  Happy Holidays everyone!

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.