Life's about playing the hand you were dealt...

It's Friday night and I'm in my sweats and after 6 rolls of sushi with a faithful friend, I am finally ending a frustrating week with a smile on my face and belly full of therapy. :)

Andrew went with me to Columbus bright and early in the morning and my instinct was right...there was nothing new on the MRI that showed why I would be having these symptoms (remember the Hochstetler motto 'Nothing ever the easy way' :).  I asked her if the stenosis/osteophyte complex/fused discs/ect... could cause these symptoms and she said not the symptoms I am having.  Then I asked her about my Chiari surgery after she showed us my scar tissue and how my skull now looks after the surgery and she is going to consult with another neurosurgeon who has worked on people who have had Chiari (remember, she is a neurologist who concentrates on the back. BTW-for my back pain, the MRI's still showed scoliosis, so I need to keep stretching those muscles that are tight because of the curve in my spine.  Andrew says that doing nothing is the worst thing I could do so I have been very good at going to the YMCA lately to some different classes...that and a trip to Punta Cana in May to see a friend get married could be a motivating factor as well ;)  So my doc told me to be expecting a phone call from her next week letting me know what the other doctor had to say after looking at my films and see if these symptoms are like others who are post Chiari surgery patients.  That's a whole long story in itself and if something comes up on that, I'll go into more detail...but lets not jump ahead.

Trust me, I know how silly this all sounds.  And there has been MANY times I have told Andrew that I'm just done with doctors.  He encourages me that He would hire a doctor from England if he had the money to fix me :) He can be so sweet.  But this blog has been about my health and for me, it seems like my health is just something that I can't ever NOT think about.  My health has gotten in the way of a lot of milestones in life...Chiari Malformation kept me away from moving to Indiana and going to college at Taylor University, scoliosis kept me from having a pain free back for years, PCOS has kept me from a balanced hormonal life, and cancer has kept me from having my own family at the time I wanted to start one.  Now with this constant dull headache and head pressure, it's making my job harder and all around life just a bit more tense and short circuited.  Sometimes I feel like cancer was easier...I have learned more from being sick in my life than from any other experiences I have encountered.  Now there's a story!

You ever have a plan for your life...then it really goes NOTHING like you planned?  Should you be disappointed when it doesn't work out the way you plan or is that just your life?  If I wouldn't have had these health issues, I may have lead a completely different life!  But this is the life God planned for me, I know it because He wants me to draw so near to Him through all of these Life struggles (not just health ones)...so I need to start playing the cards I was dealt and maybe win a hand or two, instead of folding and waiting for a royal flush everyday.  Sometimes you grow closer to God, the One who really matters, when life hits you hard...it's like hitting on the river card! I had a few reality checks this week, enough to make some tears flow, but they are showing me how much I can handle, how much sushi I need to eat, and how much more I need to learn about this life :)  I am so young, and have so much to learn...I am SOOO learning that everyday.  I swear I will be a great mother because I have so many life experiences to draw from!  As you can see, I seem to be more sensitive around these times when I get checked out for cancer again.  My CT scan is on Monday and I meet with the doctor on Feb. 23.  I'll update you then :)

On a fun note, I'm finally able to wear my dangly earring again after a year and a half.  My hair is finally long enough to balance it out and its great!  I'll have to post a picture soon! I've got some other great updates too...like Andrew is SO close to finishing our bathroom and I'm getting a piano in my house!  My niece Maci was dedicated in church today and my WHOLE family was at the Lima Community Church and then went out to eat...that was awesome :)  If there is one blessing I know that I have in my life, it is my family...Lord help us if we ever live more than 20 minutes away!