My 4 month CT scan

I remember where I was last year at this time. I had a blood cancer that we were fighting with aggressive chemotherapy drugs...and yet, I was at such peace with life.
This year, I'm stressed. I recently discovered that stressed is desserts spelled backwards. Must be the reason I've gained some weight lately.:) Like everyone else, I'm feeling the daily stresses of Life and its demands, and I feel like I have no time to spare. I'm going, going, going, but I have to just stop. Because if I keep going like this, I'm going to be 250 pounds and in the crazy house! In a way, I mourn last year. I mourn the time I had to write, a true passion that I have that gives me so much peace. Cancer gave me a reason to start writing again and I'm thankful for that part of cancer. I had forgotten how much I enjoy it. Last year feels like a dream now, but because I wrote it down and can look back and remember, it wasn't a dream. It was my real life...a life worth documenting. I want my life to still be something worth documenting, not something that was consumed with so much stress, that I forgot how to Live.

Tomorrow is my 4 month checkup. I get my CT scan and I really don't want to dismiss it. I don't want it to be just another day in my life, because it's not. Hearing that I am still in remission gives me a reason to celebrate my Life and do the things that I dream about and want to do. So I've made a decision...every time I hear that I am cancer free, I'm going to cross off one more thing from my bucket list. That should give me a reason to keep striving for the life I want and documenting it in the process. So last June when I heard I was in remission, I did Relay for Life. This time in October, I'm taking a hot air balloon ride. After it cancelled 2 times last year and then again last week because of the storms, we are scheduled this Sunday :)
So tonight, before my CT scan, I just wanted to take time to write, more than anything else I have to do tonight, I wanted to write so that I can remember this moment. A moment in my life where I feel like I don't have a minute to spare, yet still I took time out for me. I did something that I truly enjoy, so that I can read this again in a nursing home one day...and not in the crazy house!