It's hard to say, but I think I was more emotional when I heard the news 'you can have a baby' than when I heard remission :)
When the nurse did the ultrasound, it showed that I have all the parts needed to carry a baby! The only downfall was that I have a very thin uterus wall, which may lead to bed rest early, and I have PCOS. I knew that I had this 3 years ago, but I was kinda hoping the chemo might have wiped those cysts out too. Oh well, I have cysts in my spinal cord and breast, so why not have them on the ovary's too?? :)
We aren't sure what has been the culprit of all my recent symptoms, maybe stress of starting school or the changes I made when I was running everyday. My blood test testing my insulin, thyroid, hormones and all that showed that everything is stable. So she said that we can start trying once it's been a year since my last treatment, and to just keep watch of my cycles. PCOS can make it hard to conceive, but not impossible. And we aren't sure yet if the ABVD drugs affected my fertility. Therefore, if it takes a long time to get pregnant, we might have to look into some form of help. But I'm not worried yet...I still have some things on my bucket list to do :)
So when I went to bed that night, I remembered a verse that I used to love. To hear that my body can carry a baby was the best news I have ever received. I was meant to be a mother, I know it. And although getting pregnant may or may not come easy, I will still praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. No matter how messed up we think we are :)
Psalms 139
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
This will really encouraging to me, Laura, as John & I are starting the process of figuring out if we can have children, too.
ReplyDeleteJohn had his CF genetic testing done on Saturday; we're still waiting on the results. If it comes back negative, in the next few months, I'll be having a HSG test to see if my tubes are open and my uterus looks the right shape (50% of women with CF have blocked fallopian tubes). I have always known those statistics but have just assumed that I'm fertile, just will have a hard time sustaining a pregnancy. I guess knowing I'll need to have this test, before we can even more on with discussing the complications I HAVE been thinking about was rather overwhelming, at least at first.
We'll be praying for you all and appreciate your prayers, as well! Please come to Bible study some night you don't have too much HW! :)
Love you!
I don't know if you remember me or not, but we met WAY back at First Church of God, in the early 90's. :) I then met Andrew when we were attending Union Chapel back in 3rd grade.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I've been sporadically following your journey here, and I admire your courage and strength despite such obstacles. This post has made me ever so happy though! I know how much I love being a Momma, and I pray that you won't have any more complications and you'll be a Momma soon too! :)