The Road to Radiation...still driving...still tired...but not slowing down!

So I got some bad news…I got shot down once again to be in Oprah’s audience. :( I can sign up each month to be selected at random, and still never get picked…I swear the sign up is rigged! ;) Ok, it’s not the worst news ever, but I only have a couple months left to see her show live!
In reality, I’m so sorry I haven’t been writing as often. I’ve been like a zombie being back at work and when I get home, my body usually has the energy to only do a few things. And I’m pretty sure you all would want me to eat and bath myself before writing a new blog ;) When I was off work dealing with chemo, I had time to rest and time to write. But now, I feel like I have time to work, make a meal (I hate that it takes an hour longer to make a meal than just running through the drive thru! But this is us making a healthier lifestyle so that we can live a longer life without high cholesterol ;) rest, and by the end of the night, there is no time for writing before my bed time. I relate this to how our time with God can change in different seasons of our life. I heard on the radio today a lady saying how before kids, she was able to spend time in the morning with God in devotions and prayer. Now with kids, she has no time in the morning and basically just gets in a popcorn 'please God help me' prayer in here and there. And actually, I think that is ok because God sees that in this season of life, it may just not be as feasible. Now, I don't think it's an opportunity for a break from God, it's just finding a new time to do it...like saying your prayers in the shower to save time:) I just really want to keep telling you everything I’m processing still about Life and just wish I had more time and energy to do it. But I promise, this Pursuit is NOT done yet...it's just a season of life right now and I will finish what I started. I know my energy level will get better after radiation is over…Just 7 more treatments left! I can do this! I can finish this treatment and this blog!

I survived my first full week back to work, and I can’t believe I did it still undergoing treatment. I’M A SURVIVOR, I’m not gonna give up, I’m not gon’ stop, I’m gon’ work harder!! ~Courtesy lyrics of Destiny’s Child and my eighth grade lunch table! But really, I’ve been struggling a lot with sleep lately. It was easier during Christmas break because I was able to relax and feel rested and rest when I needed to. However when I’m at work, I can’t exactly crawl to the Book Center and curl up on the bean bag chair and take a snooze. This type of tiredness is something I can’t explain either. I’m so tired, but I just can’t sleep even though I want to. So the nurse told me to try Benadryl (I was given that during chemo to help me sleep off some nausea) before bed because my body needs sleep in order to heal. I really don’t want to get sick because of not getting enough rest. And trust me, the first sign of sickness, I’m not afraid to call off work. Been down THAT road before ;) I’ve also realized that even though I still have the ‘Cancer Card’, it doesn't prevent 'life' from happening and there are still trials in EVERY part of your life. I just need to remember James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Remembering this helps me know that through all the trials of life, it is there to help me grow and mature. And I am surely growing! And I just love what a coworker of mine does to relieve stress..she says 'Breathe in Jesus...Breathe out broken laminater' Boy, do we get heated sometimes and just need to breathe in the good and breathe out the bad! I love it and have been doing a lot more Breathe in Jesus lately to keep me from snapping!

So even though I’m exhausted from lack of sleep and radiation, it's not as bad as chemo so I haven't stopped being social because I don’t like to miss out on an opportunity to learn something new :) So last night, to celebrate working 5 days in a row (in the Groman house hold, we celebrate and say cheers for any occasion around here ;) we went to Red Lobster with another couple. Great to get away from my Ensure diet (I lost some weight and this helps keep my immune system balanced) and to have friends who cheer me on during my cancer battle and celebrate even the little steps…like going to work for a full week! And I got to go to Courtney’s baby shower today, she made me a beautiful quilt last month, and this week I am celebrating Chloe's 5 birthday tomorrow, I am going to dinner and a movie with some friends, going to a new church class (glad to get back into something again after my last girls session and small group ended in December), working for Playing for Paislyn benefit on Friday night, having lunch with the one and only Miss Alaina on Saturday, and then having radiation and teaching on top of it all! Oh Lord give me rest and strength cause I’m not about to slow down anymore ;) 2011 is here…and I’m not stopping!