Ephesians 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
My friend from Wisconsin who just finished up her treatments too has a blog to update us all and she once wrote about a local principal who had been diagnosed with cancer. His name is Henry Blackaby, and he said,
"I have come to the place in my life that, if the assignment I sense God is giving me is something that I know I can handle, I know it probably is not from God. The kind of assignments God gives in the Bible are always God-sized. They are always beyond what people can do, because He wants to demonstrate His nature, His strength, His provision and His kindness to His people and to a watching world. This is the only way the world will come to know Him."
I’m so glad that she shared what he said with everyone and that I have the opportunity to pass it along and share it with you to see if you have had a God-sized assignment. I don’t know if having cancer was a God-sized assignment to everyone, but I thought at one time it may be a God-sized assignment just for me…or so I thought. I hope that through my battle I have been able to show you the strength of God and how He gives it to us in our weak times and how He has provided in extraordinary ways for me through the knowledge of doctors, drugs, support, and finances. However, the more I reflect, I think the real assignment I have been given from God during this time was not to beat cancer…it was to share my story while having cancer.
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
My friend from Wisconsin who just finished up her treatments too has a blog to update us all and she once wrote about a local principal who had been diagnosed with cancer. His name is Henry Blackaby, and he said,
"I have come to the place in my life that, if the assignment I sense God is giving me is something that I know I can handle, I know it probably is not from God. The kind of assignments God gives in the Bible are always God-sized. They are always beyond what people can do, because He wants to demonstrate His nature, His strength, His provision and His kindness to His people and to a watching world. This is the only way the world will come to know Him."
I’m so glad that she shared what he said with everyone and that I have the opportunity to pass it along and share it with you to see if you have had a God-sized assignment. I don’t know if having cancer was a God-sized assignment to everyone, but I thought at one time it may be a God-sized assignment just for me…or so I thought. I hope that through my battle I have been able to show you the strength of God and how He gives it to us in our weak times and how He has provided in extraordinary ways for me through the knowledge of doctors, drugs, support, and finances. However, the more I reflect, I think the real assignment I have been given from God during this time was not to beat cancer…it was to share my story while having cancer.
When I came home from Iowa, and after my diagnosis was still sinking in, I wrote this in my journal...
June 26, 2010
He (Andrew) hears me cry and he comes to my side. He can hear my mixed and messed up words and make sense of them, and tells me the right thing every time. I’m mad, and I’m afraid I will mess up this situation I’ve been given and somehow not use it to glorify God. Please God, USE ME! Even during my weakest days, use me to show others Your mercy and grace during crappy times. AJ told me there are no rules to this and that we will have many opportunities in the future. All I know to say to my friends right now is what I told them today…'that God isn’t done with me yet and that He knows what He’s doing, even if I don’t know it yet.' I have a lot of people praying for me God, and I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t know how to live with cancer. So please God, PLEASE tell me how to glorify you in this moment, because I just don’t know how to.
And just two days later, a coworker email me about how her cousin was sick and they kept a blog to keep everyone informed. I had heard of a blog before because Andrew’s cousin had one for her adorable triplets. However, that was really all I knew about blogs. So I went to her page, and at the very top, it said Create Blog. And that’s how this Pursuit all started. I now know that there is a HUGE world of blogging out there and that I hopped on this train a little late…but at that point I didn’t feel like I had a story to tell. I did this blog first and foremost so that people could her the medical updates from me, because I knew how word travels in my small town and I could have been on my last leg by the time it got to the third person ;) But somehow, through this Pursuit, I found this to be a place for me to vent, reflect, and just simply share my God and what He’s done in this part of my life.
June 26, 2010
He (Andrew) hears me cry and he comes to my side. He can hear my mixed and messed up words and make sense of them, and tells me the right thing every time. I’m mad, and I’m afraid I will mess up this situation I’ve been given and somehow not use it to glorify God. Please God, USE ME! Even during my weakest days, use me to show others Your mercy and grace during crappy times. AJ told me there are no rules to this and that we will have many opportunities in the future. All I know to say to my friends right now is what I told them today…'that God isn’t done with me yet and that He knows what He’s doing, even if I don’t know it yet.' I have a lot of people praying for me God, and I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t know how to live with cancer. So please God, PLEASE tell me how to glorify you in this moment, because I just don’t know how to.
And just two days later, a coworker email me about how her cousin was sick and they kept a blog to keep everyone informed. I had heard of a blog before because Andrew’s cousin had one for her adorable triplets. However, that was really all I knew about blogs. So I went to her page, and at the very top, it said Create Blog. And that’s how this Pursuit all started. I now know that there is a HUGE world of blogging out there and that I hopped on this train a little late…but at that point I didn’t feel like I had a story to tell. I did this blog first and foremost so that people could her the medical updates from me, because I knew how word travels in my small town and I could have been on my last leg by the time it got to the third person ;) But somehow, through this Pursuit, I found this to be a place for me to vent, reflect, and just simply share my God and what He’s done in this part of my life.
So was this a God-sized assignment? I’m not sure Hodgkin’s Lymphoma was. I knew I had that in the bag. But this blog, my Pursuit…I think so. Knowing that this time in my life would change me and others and how I live my life from this day forward is pretty God-sized. I believe I am coming out of this experience not a better person, but a more conscious and reflective person. And if I can share that and God with anyone else, I know I’ve got an A on my assignment…ok maybe just a B…I’m still working on me here! Even though there are thousands of blogs and stories out there about different things, I’m glad I was able to share mine about life with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma with those who wanted to hear. Who am I kidding...God had this all planned out :)
“I don’t want my thoughts to die with me. I want to have done something. I know there are a lot of things that I don’t understand, but I still want my life to have meaning.’ -Temple Grandin
This woman with autism put into words what I have been thinking about since the day I was diagnosed with cancer. I hope this Pursuit was something, if only a way to not let my thoughts die with me. Thanks for reading :)
Laura, your blog has been amazing, inspiring, encouraging, humbleing, and most of all God-glorifying. You HAVE done an amazing job at glorifying God through your Pursuit. I hope you keep your blog going...and sharing your life and journey on your walk with Him. You have a gift in the way you're able to share. CONGRATULATIONS hun!!! Someday, you guys will need to stop by for a visit ...and then you can get together with my friend Kara too! :) Praising God with you - Shelly :)
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