Taking a look back...and LAUGHING!

As crazy up and down as this Pursuit has been, it's about to wrap up soon but one more thing I've learned is to 'Let it go...and laugh at yourself.' :) I think in the last blog you saw my nerves, but in this blog, get ready to laugh! So I took a look back and saw some of the moments that had me down, where I thought it couldn't get any worse. We all have negative/bad times in life and how many of us let those little negative things bring us down, make us cry 'til our eyes are red and puffy, and then eat too many brownies?
The truth is, it may be alright to cry in that moment, but don’t get too overworked about the little things that happen in Life (I'm talking about the silly negatives that don't matter in a few days, months, years; not the negatives that are life changing...so go ahead a cry a bit longer on those ones :). From what I've experienced, not just through cancer but in Life, is that the silly little negatives/bad things in life always, and I mean ALWAYS, have a way of working themselves out and usually something positive comes out of them....whether it be changing you for the better or just making you laugh when you realize how stupid you were for worrying or crying over nothing that trivial at all. You will be changed and that is what living this Life is all about. Growing, experiencing, and changing for the better...and laughing in the process! So I thought I would share with you some moments in the past 7 months that either had me sad at the moment, laughing at how 'little' my situation really was in the 'big picture', or was just an insecurity for me at the time…but now looking back, I’m laughing hysterically realizing life goes on...are you gonna move on with it or dwell in the past? :D I encourage you to move on and laugh when the time is right...and my time is now! Some pics below are of me just laughing at my situation. I'm laughing as I look at these now!!

1) I laugh as I remember my comment made as they extracted the marrow from the bone. 'Oh,....!' I apologized after that and the medical team laughed at me...but man, I was NOT prepared for that pain, it was the worst pain I ever felt.

2) My hubby, rubbing my feet after they drilled into my bone, I laughed as I look at this because I must have been drugged...I HATE my feet rubbed!!

3) My makeshift ice packs...washcloth, ice, and chip clips! I was in pain...but made THE BEST INVENTION!!

4) My sis doing my hair after my surgery. Why I called her that night so worried about my hair when it was going to fall out in a month...I HAVE NO IDEA!

5) Not a good time...the start of my hair falling out in August. I hated taking this picture, but I knew I'd laugh one day at it! I looked like Donald Trump my hair was getting so thin!!

6) So this makes me laugh because I was out of chemo, wearing high heals, and trying to carry that chair into the woods. I kept tripping in my heals and I yelled out 'I haven't worn any heal in 5 months!!' And then laughed again when I realized how short I am next to my bestest Ash :)

7) My nose was constantly running...and Jessi caught it on camera! You can't see it very well because the picture is small, but my nose is running in this picture! That shiny thing on the end of my nose is snot about to drip out!

8) Oh boy, the 'stache was no laughing matter when he joked about keeping it! But now that it's gone..HAHA!!

9) Look at the top of my bill...I was with a group of friends eating at Fat Jack's and my identifying feature was my 'white hat'. This is when it sunk in...I look different! Kinda sad then, but I'm laughing now!

10) My tissue became like my white hat, I didn't leave home without it! When you have no nose hair, your nose runs like crazy!!

11) My sis and I wanted to take a picture, but I said 'Wait, let me get my good side! I like the over the shoulder look!' Guess there is really no 'good side' when you have cancer!

12) Don't worry, we found Bin Laden! HAHA Sometimes my hat got itchy, so I'd let my ears 'breathe', not knowing this is what I looked like! Come on people! You gotta let a girl know when she looks like this! :) As you can see this is my 'laughing too hard' face once I saw what I looked like...not so pretty either...but hey, I'm laughing at myself now!

13) And my first time out after treatment without my hat, and I thought my hair was long enough...guess it is compared to being bald! (don't really know why Maci and I are so close in this pic, I think AJ got the pic when I was about to give her kisses! My niece is adorable isn't she?! :)

If I was still sad or insecure about these moments, I wouldn't have been able to show you these pictures. But I'm ready to not take life so seriously and do more laughing after I hear the word R-word! There are some other moments that make me laugh as I think back. Like driving to the wrong house after chemo, not knowing I was calling Cancer Care the Cancer Center until after chemo treatment was over, harassing the intern doc in the ER, thinking about screaming 'it hurts!' during radiation just to see what the nurses would do, my sis's cancer jokes to make me laugh, my dog licking my bald head, and wondering if the doctor was going to have me smoke pot like in the movies when they have cancer (the answer is no by the way... :) And I have to get used to how my hair feels heavy again when I wash it and how water drops stick to my eyelashes again in the shower. It's crazy the new discoveries I make every day that are 'new to me' again and make me smile. The best thing is that I’m able to laugh now at the things I couldn’t back then because this Pursuit has given me more confidence in myself...and less worry over the 'little things' like being identified as he white hat girl or knowing that this is not the stage in life where I'm at my prettiest. But it’s like that with a lot of situations in Life, not just cancer. It seems hard/bad/negative in that moment, but if you allow it...you can be changed for the better and then LAUGH about it later! :) Thanks for laughing WITH me...not at me! You guys are awesome!