Was NOT ready for this news today. But before that, let me catch you up...
My rash isn't doing any better or any worse. Just kinda the same :( And my cold isn't doing any better or any worse...more of just kinda the same :( :(
How's that for catching you up?? ;)
I've been working all week this week, but I only made it 3 1/2 days. I tried to do 4 for the kids, but when I got a call on Wednesday that my yearly 'girly exam' was tomorrow...I had to take a half day. Good thing, I was beat by noon today and I could hardly keep my eyes open. So I went to my exam ready to give her my list of new medications, my new conditions, ect... I was telling her all about chemo as she looked in my ears that were full of fluid and up my hairless nostrils full of snot. She told me it was pretty cloudy in there :) It was so funny, I love my OB/GYN, she makes me laugh! The good news is that she didn't hear fluid in my lungs and I don't have a fever. Phew!
Then it was time for the good ol' breast exam. Are you ready to laugh??? I laugh as I type it because I can hardly believe it myself. She found a lump. Ya! I know..seriously?! I was in the shower before I left for my exam --you know, doing the whole 'Oh shoot, it's been a year already!' self exam --and I felt it too. It was a nodule for sure. She told me it's a cyst most likely and I have my first mammogram on Monday to find out more. I told her 'well geez, if it's cancer I'm like already half way done!' ;) I know...seriously?! Ya, I left there (after talking to a nurse about chiari malformation surgery because she had it too) and I laughed. Seriously. I laughed the whole way home. Then when I was about two minutes from my house, I burst into tears. It just had to come out. I mean, if it is cancer, at least I know what to expect right? And if it isn't, Praise the Lord, lets get it out of there! When I read up on information about Lymphoma way back in early summer, I read that I was at a higher chance of getting breast cancer years down the road after radiation. So I put it on the back of my mind for now, ready to deal with that when my kids where out of high school. Didn't think I would have to talk about it 3 months after my first cancer diagnosis. I'll have more answers after the mammogram results are in, but now I'm being serious...this could so easily be a benign cysts, a calcium deposit, or just a nice piece of fat! Or it could be cancer...I've been in that boat before where I have said 'Look, there is no way this is cancer, let's just see what they say and go from there.' So people, let's do just that. Let's just see what they say and go from there. I'm not worried in the least bit. I have made it this far...it would be too easy for it to start getting easier right?? :)
Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Chemo #5 is tomorrow...or next week if this cold sticks around :(
Just want to encourage you. I had 3 of those little cyst scares and all 3 aspirated with a needle which was good! That meant they weren't cancerous. All mammograms have been good since that "scare." I did have to ice the area and take it easy for 24 hours after and I was glad to do what the Dr. said. I will pray that yours are just cysts or as you called it-a nice piece of fat!
ReplyDeleteLaura, life's taking you on one hell of a ride, isn't it? Please feel my great big hug full of love and calm and healing. I'm praying so hard for you, Laura.
ReplyDeleteI have a thought....could pushing yourself to go to work be too much for right now? Take some time off,like weeks or months,to really rest and let the chemo do it's job. Preschool is very hard work and, ya know, I really don't think it's even possible to teach sp ed preschool and be rested and relaxed, I just don't...even when one is healthy. Get the hell out of preschool for awhile, Laura. Rest and read wonderful books in your chair with your Coop and your Kota :-)
Love you, Laura, hugs to you and Andrew
Henni
p.s. I don't mean to "tell" you what to do - it's just that I think the world of you and want you to be good to yourself and get well.
(stay home:-) )
Love ya, Laura,
Henni
Laura-
ReplyDeleteIt is time for you to take time for YOU. Everyone knows you love the little people that you work with everyday and you do not need to prove anything to anyone. It sounds like everyone knows the kiddos are your passion and that everyone wants you to take care of you.
I can't imagine being in your shoes and having to get this news on top of everything else. You are being so strong!!!! I am happy you are blogging so that you can release some of the emotions that are building up in you right now. It takes a very special person to be able to share these personal ups and downs that you have been experiencing lately.
I thought I would share with you that when I was 21, I had lumps removed from my breast at OSU-mine were the fatty lumps-fibro adenomas, benign lumps-3 the size of walnuts. The procedure was not difficult at all. I even stayed awake for the procedure and it was a quick recovery. I only have a small scar now. I pray that you get a simple answer like I did.
Take care,
Natalie :)
He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers yeah strength to the weak. Even
youths will become exhausted, and young men will fall give up. But those who wait on the LORD
will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow
weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:29-31