Monday, September 6, 2010

Some thoughts on the 'C Word'

Happy Labor Day! I hope you all enjoyed this day off! Everyone who works hard deserves a break…aren’t they so nice?! Especially when you can spend them with friends and family. My weekend didn’t go exactly as planned, but such is life right?! I will get my picture one day with the whole fam together. But for now, a pic of just AJ and Coop at the lake will have to do :) So I am three days out of chemo and I can honestly say I feel really good! I think that three week break was a huge blessing to me. Not only for school, but for my body to recovery from the previous treatments so it can handle these next couple rounds. It’s like I finally understand this whole process so I can prepare myself for the side effects now and manage them better. I felt nauseated the first day of chemo, tired the next day, and now I have some jaw and back pain again...but it's nothing that I haven't experienced before! SO COOL!! If I can keep this up and not get a cold or flu in the next two months, I will be smooth sailing from here on out :)

So in my last blog, I wanted everyone to know something about chemotherapy. But before I get on the chemo subject, I want to explain my cancer real quick. Cancer is basically just messed up cells that grow out of control and cause tumors on different parts of the body. Somewhere down the road, my immune system started to weaken, and could not keep up to fight off the cancer cells (in my case with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma it was the lymphatic cells) in my body anymore. Cancer cells are dumb because they don’t know when to stop dividing and growing like the normal cells in our body do. That’s how it spreads and grows tumors. I was lucky I listened to my body because I caught this early. My cancer had only spread to the chest and neck, but it could have broken off and traveled anywhere in my body. To any major organ and this could have been really bad. I am so lucky! So please, if you don’t feel right for ANY reason, see a doctor. As the old saying goes, it’s better to be safe than sorry! But my big thing now and in the future is to KEEP YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM UP! Cancer cannot survive in your body when your immune system is working awesome. A way to do this is by taking Vitamin D3. I’m serious, I will take it everyday from now on to make sure my immune system will always be rockin’ as much as possible. :)

I’ve had a lot of time now, almost 3 months, to process the word chemotherapy and what it means to me. I’ve come to this conclusion…I am using chemotherapy to CURE my cancer. It is a harsh and nasty drug to have in your system, but it will CURE me. Cure, Gone, Bye-Bye. However, I know chemotherapy has a lot of controversy on what it does to your body now and in the future. But please hear me. I trust my doctor. And when he told me he could cure me, I never had a bad feeling. And I did not have the time to be ‘all natural and chew on a leaf’ and see what other options could work. My tumor was getting bigger and everyday was a day closer to that thing cutting off my breathing. And trust me, I am going to do everything in my power from now on to prevent ever getting this disease again (by concentrating on ALL 4 parts of my life…physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). After this is said and done, I want to remain healthy. Get rid of all this nonsense stress, foods, laziness, and negative state of mind. I told Andrew that a 'better life' would be to just be happy. He said that happiness is a state of mind. If that’s true, we could all chose to be happy…my, how our world and lifestyles would change just by making that choice everyday! God did not create suffering you guys, He created CHOICE! Let that sink in for a minute…I love when Sunday sermons stick with me :)

I have complete faith that one day chemotherapy will no longer be around because medicine will advance enough that other less harsh drugs will be used to cure cancer. But right now, I AM GETTING CURED, so I am happy. Remission is a word I look forward to hearing in my future, and you know what…chemo and radiation will get me that word. It’s been proven time and time again. Hopefully none of you will ever have to go through cancer and treatment, but if you do, I hope it is in the far future when treatment can be prescribed at CVS :) But for now, find a good doctor that you trust, do your own background research, and find what fits for you. You are the only person who is advocating for YOU and it is YOUR life to control. Go with gut instincts because they are usually right. My instinct said this will work…I get the CAT scan this Friday to see if I'm right :)

What ever may happen with my health in the future because of chemotherapy, I will take it because I was given that much longer to live here on earth. And remember, I am not wasting my time on earth anymore. I am LIVING from now on. LIVING AND LEARNING. None of us know when our last breath will be so please start living too and letting go of the ‘what if’s’. I have. I am blessed to feel as great as I do with the current treatment I am getting. But you know what....while chemotherapy is curing my body, it is also giving me life lessons that I 'm not sure I would have ever gotten if I hadn't experienced this part of my life. Everything from my food intake, to my digestive system; my struggle with emotions, to my reliance on God; my attitude towards money, to my new marriage with my husband where our health is not suppose to be the concern right now...all kinds of things that test your strength at your weakest time in life. It's crazy, but I'm learning...and the deeper I get into this Pursuit, the deeper my thoughts are going into every aspect of my life. Viewing it from all angles; learning, polishing, understanding...sharing.....I'm gaining more confidence in myself now to be even more open about my experience with cancer and the life lessons it is exposing me too. So be patient as I gather my thoughts, it takes longer than usual, I'm still so interested in seeing where this all goes :)

1 comment:

  1. Laura,
    WOW! This chemo and the C disease is really making your mind work in a way that is way more mature than your short life here on earth!! I do believe you are sharing this with me for a reason. I need to take a longer look at what that reason is......or perhaps it is this inspiration I get everytime I read one of your posts? What matters most? That is the question that I leave this blog with everyday I read it.
    Thanks for sharing. Rest well, worry none.
    Linda

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