The Two Faces of Cancer

This week I was reminded that cancer has two faces. One face is the face of defeat when we kick it’s cancer butt and hear the word remission. The other face is the face of victory when cancer finally takes its toll and our last breath is taken. Unfortunately this week, cancer took yet another life that deserved to stay on earth for much, much longer. Our friend’s cousin died this week from kidney cancer. He was young like me. He was a husband, a father, a son, and much more. It’s different for me now when I hear that someone dies from cancer. Some how you feel more connected even though you didn’t even know the person personally. Maybe it's because you are fighting the same fight, so you feel like you're on the same team.

This is the first time since I have been diagnosed that I have heard that someone lost the fight, and I've had to deal with a whole new kind of emotion that I've never dealt with before. Relating with someone you don’t even know because you both have cancer. Feeling probably the same emotions at certain times, the same drug side effects, the same insecurities. But the outcome was different. It makes me sad, yet mad at the same time. Because it’s really hard to rally for hope in cancer when it takes someone’s life. So desperately I want people to hear the word cancer and think of hope first, instead of death. But that's not realistic, I've come to realize that. How can anyone think that first when it continues to be such a deadly disease? So many medical people say that a positive attitude is like the secret weapon to surviving cancer. If it is, than why are people still dying? Did they not have a positive attitude? I’m sure they did, but cancer is so aggressive and it’s just not fair to some who live in this cancer world. It’s just not fair that no matter how positive of an attitude you have, some people live and some people die from cancer. It’s unfair that you don’t know the people who will get cancer. It’s unfair that the people who do get cancer have to wonder if they will live or not to hear the word remission. It’s not fair that the people who do live to hear the word remission have to live in suspense wondering if it will ever come back to take their life the next time.

I want so badly for cancer to have a different reaction than death. I want to hear stories of survival more than death. I don’t want to see movies like The Last Song or read books like My Sister’s Keeper. I don’t want people to die from cancer. It scares the hell out of the rest of us. I wish there was more hope stories out there. But that doesn't make for good cinema now, does it? :) The truth is that cancer will always have two faces. It will keep taking lives until the cure is found. We must remember those who have passed away from a crappy disease called cancer. But please, don't remember them because they had cancer...remember THEM. The person who was there the whole time before they ever heard the words 'you have cancer' and fighter that was in them til the end. My heart goes out to the family that lost the battle this week. However, I am reminded that we are made whole again when we enter the gates of Heaven. No more tears and no more suffering. No more pain and no more cancer. And hopefully some hair :) I will keep fighting the fight for the ones who can't, I will remain hopeful and do my best for the cancer world to make it the best it can be now that I am apart of it. I remain hopeful in my cancer diagnosis, I have nothing to lose there. However I am not oblivious to real life in my situation as well as other cancer patients where cancer has a mind of it's own and no one can predict it. Let’s all just make the very best of the time we do have left on earth. Live...Laugh...and Love my friends.