Saturday, September 4, 2010

This girl is HALF WAY done!

Greetings! Good things are happening!! I survived my first week of school, Cooper has learned a ton of new tricks (and potty training is going VERY well), Ohio State won it's first game of the season, and I'm starting to look for a vacation spot over Christmas break to celebrate my recovery!
My Pursuit is HALF WAY done people!!! I wish I can say that it has flown by, but really it hasn’t. I’m anxious for the day when I am cancer free! We changed my chemo treatments to Fridays now, that way I can now spend a full 4 days with the students instead of just 3. I am grateful that change was able to be made! I get the Neulasta shot at the hospital oncology floor now, and let me tell you, I'm glad there is a place called the Cancer Center! Talk about really feeling sick when you are at the hospital! It just looked too much like a hospital room and the encouragement level was quite minimal. At least at the Cancer Center, it is inviting and warm. No offence to the hospital, it just makes me appreciate the extra love and care I get from just the buildings presence at the Cancer Center. Definitely made the right decision there :) I was able to make it to round 4 of chemo and that means just 4 more treatments and some radiation left. HOORAY!! Thank you for the prayers to make me healthy again. You are appreciated for helping me fight this battle more than I can express! Sometimes it’s your strength for me that helps get me through, you all are so encouraging and totally helping me fight the fight that will win this battle! I’m really ready now for treatment to stay on schedule and to just get this all done. My blood work came back much better yesterday. Although my white blood cell count was a little low, it wasn’t bad enough to stop the fight this time. They say it could be from this past week of working…I’m exhausted! Thank God for a 3 day weekend of complete rest! I was able to get through my first week of the kiddos being back at school and with the Serenity Prayer said everyday, I can make it through the rest.

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Let me be honest. This is a hard battle to fight. The drugs they give me are strong and effective, but they totally take a toll on your body…and now my emotions. During the summer, my concentration was fully on my complete recovery. Now with working again, I feel like I have to divide my time. This is leaving me tired, but living through it with adrenaline. I can’t quite explain exactly why I am more emotional than I have ever been. I can cry at anything it seems. And unfortunately, I say what’s on my mind. Thank God I have a family and husband who forgives me for my outburst :) I’m really just ready to be over this fight with cancer and move the heck on! Good thing though is that I have some fun things coming up to take my mind off of the cancer life! Can't wait to show you pictures of it all!
Through the good and bad though, God has been a constant source of strength for me, I don't know who could ever fight cancer without Him. I'm just so relieved in knowing that He picks me up when I fall, when I feel alone, and when I just need a shoulder to cry on. He is there, all the time, always forgiving me of my short comings, and encouraging me along this fight. Somehow my Bible opens to just the words I need to hear, or a card comes in the mail with just the right verse. I'm not a perfect person. This blog is used to share the good and bad times honestly through living a life that was once on track, then whirl winded by the 'C word'. I have had more struggles these past few months that I thought I would never ever have. Cancer has effected my whole life...my health, my job, my relationships with family, friends, God, and my husband. I have learned more life lessons than many people my age in a short time, and yearn to share them with you. I feel there are more lessons are to be learned. I'm not done with my treatment yet, I am right in the meat of it and I can not let my mind and body sway at all from the prize that is to be won. It's so easy to lose focus right now, because cancer is more real than ever to me with my newest struggles. I have to except that life is going to be different for me these next few months and learn from it. Cancer is a nasty, mean disease that means business and the action taken is very aggressive. But my mind is an even more aggressive tool in this fight. I just have to whip it out more often :)

Knowing I am half way done is comforting. However, I had to ask the question. I finally got the courage to ask the nurse if this cancer would come back. All I really know is that I got this disease because of a weakened immune system. So what if my immune system gets weak again? She told me that they have done a ton of research to make sure the dosages are just right for a full recovery of this kind of cancer. Having chemotherapy for this long will help the cancer stay a way for a long time. I’m looking forward to a full recovery after this with the word remission in my life for the next 50 years :) I am just starting a new book my cousin Cindi gave me from California. It’s called ‘The Makers Diet’. Right up my alley! It’s all about a man’s journey to complete health through the first diet recorded, the Bible. I can’t wait to share his story with you because it seems so interesting from the first few pages. I have my own thoughts on chemotherapy though...but that's for the next blog though :)

1 comment:

  1. Hooray Laura! Half way through your battle!!!! You have been strong on this journey, so it is okay to be emotional every once in awhile. Tears are healthy :) I am happy to hear you were able to get your treatment Friday. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I would be happy to make you a meal or run to the store for you. Take care :)

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