Greetings! So how am I doing?? Feeling better every day! There really is light at the end of the chemo tunnel...so hang in there Kara from Wisconsin! Just 2 more...you CAN do it…you are a mom, you can do anything I think! :) I PROMISE you it gets better…PROMISE!
The good news is that my blood pressure is back to where it should be and all the side effects from the shot have worn off! Yea for medicines!! I’m telling you, chemo could have been SO much worse if medicine was not as good as it is now days. I think I may still be doing a little mind over matter too right now because I’m just so happy to be done with chemo that it just makes me feel better anyways! I need to keep reminding myself that my body is still weaker than I think. I’m not a 100% yet so I just need to keep building up my strength and stamina (I can sleep for hours still!) back up. I still hit a wall pretty quick if I ‘do too much’. Wow, I keep saying the word still...maybe I just need to 'Be still' (Psalm 46:10) and know that God's got this. But I am doing my part and getting out more and working on building myself back up so that I CAN GO BACK TO WORK! I can’t go back to work full time yet with the kids because I have some more appointments and the docs want me 100% WELL so that we have no set backs. Boy, am I glad I listen to them, because they are realistic while I am optimistic. The reality is that preschoolers are germy, really germy, and set backs put me in the hospital. I don’t want to go back there! Besides, I have to get a CT scan and PET scan next week which keeps me away from the kids for 24 hours because of the radioactive glucose they inject in me. So I am going to try to build myself up a little more every day and get back to where I feel I need to be after Thanksgiving… my school kids :) See, I’m optimistic!
So pretty much every chemo symptom is gone! Praise the Lord!! The only thing is the obvious lack of immune system, and my lungs…they are not getting any better or worse. I’m not going to freak out yet because it could just be that Bleomycin medicine trying to work its way out of my lungs. I think that may be some of my strength and stamina issue too, I can get so winded so fast and I just need to sit and catch my breath. So as my body is getting stronger I feel, my chemo brain…well that has yet to be determined. :) Just let me tell you what I did…So I was driving home from the doctor’s office and I stopped at a red light. In just two seconds, I totally forgot where I was! I was all turned around and didn’t know what to do! I had people beeping at me to go, but I didn’t know where to go! Then, I went to get some gas and forgot how to pump gas. I put the hose in the gas tank and then just looked at the pump with a confused face, like what’s the next step? I don’t know! Then to top it ALL off…I went to my parent’s house and pulled into the wrong driveway! I pulled into the neighbors drive way! Oh boy…maybe it is a good thing that I am off one more week from the kids. I can’t even begin to imagine the trouble I’d have them in with this chemo brain girl! :)
However, I do take my vitamins like crazy still. I’m telling you people, get the right vitamins to help your body stay healthy and you will help it fight off disease and get back to normal (I like D3 and Fish Oil…although it’s a massive pill!). Although medicines are good and help heal the body, I’d be ridiculous if I said it was just medicine that is making me better. I fully believe that I AM the verse from Isaiah 40:28-31 - He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like an eagle; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. When you pray and believe in this prayer for yourself…it can move mountains in your own life. It makes God so much more real to me. I pray it like this ‘God gives strength to me and increases the power in me. Even I, just 26, can grow tired and weak, and stumble and fall from cancer and chemo. But because I hope in the Lord I WILL have renewed strength again. I will be as strong as an eagle with You by my side. I will live and not be weak. And I will walk with You, then stand strong in Heaven.’ Yes my body is being healed as we speak by the medicines…but something much more is being healed as well. It's the spirit inside this almost healed body. I hope I see you soaring like the eagles beside me one day :)
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