In the words of Shakespeare...

Oh, Chemo how I do not love thee, let me count the ways…

1) I do not love the nausea you give me
2) I do not love the extreme fatigue where I sleep the days away
3) I do not love the sore throats from the shots
4) I do not love getting 4 shots over 4 days to make me better on top of the IV drugs
5) I do not love the throbbing jaw pain
6) I do not love the killer back pains
7) I do not love the migraines
8) I do not love how I smell like chemo for two days
9) I do not love how the beeps go off in the middle of treatment that wake me up
10) I do not love how you mess up my digestive system. Can’t I just be regular?!
11) I do not love how I can’t decide if I want hard or soft foods because which would it hurt less…my stomach or throat
12) I do not love the achy bones or the flu like symptoms
13) I do not love how my lungs feel like I’ve been running in the cold
14) I do not love how you give me ‘chemo brain’ and I can’t think straight
15) I do not love that you took my thick eyelashes
16) I do not love that I can’t just get up and go like I used to
17) I do not love…well, I just do not love you right now.
If you can't tell, I'm not quite over the after chemo symptoms yet :)

I do however love that you challenge me internally to be stronger than what I think I can be. And that you’ve shown me that my own strength is not going to be sufficient enough to live through this Life alone. I love how you have shown me to lean not only on others in my times of need…but on the source that is most high. I do love how you are healing my body, I just wish you didn’t have to break it down first. But that’s kind of like what we have to do with God. Become vulnerable and break ourselves down before Him so that we may be healed forever in His name. I sing this song today as a source of strength to get through these last chemo side effects…which seems like the harshest side effects yet…

I stand to praise You
But I fall on my knees
My spirit is willing
But my flesh is so weak

So Light the fire
In my soul
Fan the flame
Make me whole
Lord, You know
Just where I've been
So light the fire
in my heart again

I feel Your arms around me
As the power of
Your healing begins
Your spirit moves through me
Like a mighty rushing wind.

'Lord, please move through me today, make me whole again, and light the fire in me so that it burns brighter than ever before! I'm feeling weak this round and need to feel Your arms around me these next few days. Thank you God!'

Give me another day my friends to get past these side effects...I want to feel really good when I reveal to you the After Chemo Gift because I'm really excited about it :) Thank you for your prayers of healing!