AND....breathe :) Much better now....

Hey! So I need to add another sentence to my post a few days ago…the guy who was drinking the tall Bud Light when we were on our way to Newport in the morning, Yeah… he was also DRIVING!! Drinking his beer and driving at the same time…on the highway…hmmmmm. It’s a scary world sometimes!

So anyways, I’m back on track today. Sorry again for my moment yesterday, but hey, that’s life…I’m just glad that God always takes us back after we start to drift away at times :) I really needed to take a deep breath, and just breathe. And THANK YOU for encouraging me and listening to my story...through the good and bad times! I’m still not feeling 100% yet. Today, I woke up with an awful headache and cold/hot chills. Last night, I went to bed with sweats and a long sleeve shirt on. I think Andrew looked at me like I was crazy, but right now he knows better than to say anything :) I feel more nauseated today, which stinks because I was looking forward to a possible night out (wishful thinking, I know!) So this means I just need to take my medication on time. And I’m not sure if it’s allergies or what, but my nose keeps running too. So I think I’m just in for the rest of the weekend to build my body back up. Although I really want to go to Union Chapel tomorrow to see some old friends, so I’m hoping I really feel better by tomorrow morning!

So I’ve decided that when I start to feel sick and things are out of my control, I just need to go to a ‘calm place’...and breathe :) Everyone needs to have a calm place to just gather thoughts again, right? I love to take a bath, and I used a candle last night that Amy got me and that totally helped relax me! I just need to take time to chill, think about things like my future, my big house in the country one day, and vacations to exotic places (or just go over to Linda’s tropical garden in her backyard! So relaxing!) I feel much better when I think about life's possibilities rather than dwelling on the now moment. I might just have to make a poster of my favorite things and hang it on my bedroom door. That way its visual motivation to help me get through these bad times, like this last round of chemo. I really never know how I’m going to react anymore to chemo since my side effects have been so different and I know I can’t change anything. But I can use precaution. I can keep up on my meds and eat healthy. And drink more water…augh…..I swear I have already drank the reservoir dry by now!! On a better note, I got a new cell phone because my old touch phone was losing its touch. Kinda hard to make a phone call when the screen doesn’t work :) Guess how much after the rebate my phone was…$3.25! Cool! I was annoyed though, because I don’t need the Internet on my phone just yet, and they only had 2 phones in that whole store that didn’t have an Internet package…I felt like they were trying to tell me something!

I also got my stitches taken out of my port and neck yesterday. The doctors at the Cancer Center said they should have dissolved by now, so I needed to go back to St. Rita’s to get them out. So back to Radiology I went...wonder how much that nice bill will be?! I wasn’t sure where the nurse was taking me, until I was in it…it was the dreaded room where I watched them prep me for my port surgery! Lots of memories came flooding back, but this time I was way calmer :) I just propped myself back on the bed, they laid the blankets over me again, and I was just fine. I tell ya, I’m like a pro at this now!! I asked why the stitches hadn’t dissolved yet and they said that some people just don’t have enough acid in their body to dissolve the stitches. I think that just means I’m super sweet instead ;) They took them out anyway because the stitches were starting to sting and get red/irritated when something rubbed against them. Anyway, they are out and it feels good to have one less foreign object in my body :)

So tonight, I will try to eat something, try to stay a consistent body temperature, and try not to lose my mind. No guarantees :) I think a nice night in with my hubby will suit me just fine on this rainy, hot night!