I Just Don't Want to Miss a Thing!

Hey all! Phew….I swear I have been UP, then DOWN, then UP, then DOWN…I’m just waiting for a steady feeling in my body and right now I don’t care if it’s good OR bad! Ok, I would prefer good more because then I wouldn’t be missing out on everything! I really do try to pace myself because I don’t want to miss a thing, but then it always catches up with me. I worked to get my room ready on Wednesday for a few hours and I was POOPED after I was done (never could have done it though if I didn't have you Dena!) I woke up that morning with a head ache that just never really went away and throughout the day it just got worse and worse. But I wasn’t going to skip out on supper with my grandparents at Red Lobster :) I started feeling a little better after we ate, so we went back to their place and played a couple rounds of euchre. I love ‘people older than me’ (cause Grandma and Grandpa you could never be old to me ;). You make me laugh so much and I had a GREAT time with you! Spend time with your grandparents people, because they are the ones who REALLY have it together. Way better insight to life than what we have now a days to guide us! Sometimes I wish I had my Grandma Mary around again…she had such a unique perspective and was a get to the point kind of lady. She would really kick me in the butt if she knew cancer was getting me down at any time. Hope I’m not letting you down, Grandma T.!

Thursday, I was out and about running some errands, and my back started KILLING me. Like before when it felt like labor pains! I went to see my sister at work because where it really hurt was were they did the bone marrow procedure. I have a nice size goose egg right there from it. She told me that when she had to have it done for her scoliosis surgery, she was able to get a pain killer shot to ease her pain. If this pain doesn’t let up with a massage or heating pad by next Wednesday, I am SOO getting that shot! Then on Friday, I made a big mistake…well, a ‘maximum dosage’ big mistake. I woke up and took Vicodine because I did not want to hurt like I did the day before. I took more than I have in the past and within an hour, I was out like a light. When Andrew got home from fishing, I went out to greet him and was walking in a zigzag line I was so dizzy. It made me nauseous with a headache too…so at this point, I was thinking ‘Geez, the back pain was more tolerable than all this!’. So note to self, maximum dosage does not work for you, Laura. Maybe others, not you. And on top of it all, my whole digestive system cannot make up its mind on how it would like to digest my food. Irritating!

So now that I have complained, I must say that I am not a slug, but through it all I have been able to do little things, just with more caution. I rested enough to go to the band/flag/twirler show. Although leaving early was for the best sometimes. And I rested even more so I could go to my friend’s graduation party. Tara is a nurse!! I’m so proud of her and wish I could have stayed longer for her party, but my body was just not cooperating today! That is what makes me so irritated. I want to do these things, celebrate with my friends, and enjoy shows, but right now I just can’t to the extent I want too. I have to prioritize my list, and count my blessing for at least being able to do some things :) They have been SO understanding and I am so thankful I have the friends I do. You’re the best ladies and love ya Tara! I’m toasting to you at home with my water dear…catch me in December and we will celebrate again!! :)

I have another prayer request before I sign off tonight…Andrew is feeling ‘under the weather’ and I just cannot have him getting sick on my watch! Please pray for his healing because us two sick is not a pretty picture :) And I love him dearly, but I do NOT want any sickness that isn’t on the ‘chemo side effects’ list in my body. Lysol is my best friend these days! And I also want to have strength to go to the fair with my friend Alaina this Tuesday and eat an elephant ear (unfortunately, they don’t sound good at all and that is my favorite! That’s how I know I really am sick!) Not to mention, school starts for good next Friday…oh, boy! And somewhere I am suppose to find time to finish my room…I just don’t want summer to end yet! Enjoy summer people…it is coming to a close before our very eyes!
I came across this phrase from an author unknown. It kinda helps me put things into perspective when I want to do so much, but realize that I WILL have a lifetime for these things…I just need to settle and take care of ME now.

"Cancer changes your life, often for the better. You learn what's important, you learn to prioritize, and you learn not to waste your time. You tell people you love them. My friend Gilda Radner (who died of ovarian cancer in 1989 at age 42) used to say, 'If it wasn't for the downside, having cancer would be the best thing and everyone would want it.' That's true. If it wasn't for the downside."

I have learned a lot through having cancer and I hope I can keep sharing it with you so you don’t have to learn through going through it :) Tell the ones you love that you love them today; take a second, even when you are in the shower and have nothing else to do, to think of the important things in your life...Keep those your priority and definitely don't waste time! Even if you can only give a little bit of your time, like me right now...it is better than nothing! I hope you know I would do anything for you guys, really just ask cause I owe you all so much, and thanks for sticking with me through this!