2nd Chemo Treatment is Done!

This blog has been so therapeutic and almost like a diary for me, so thanks for letting me get it all out there and for listening to me. Last night I wanted to write, but the computer started messing up, and I was needing a 'me moment' to process what had happened yesterday when I got home from chemo. But let’s start out with the good news first. Blood lab work…PERFECT!! White count was back up and nothing suspicious, so second round of chemo here I go! PET scan…only showed the cancer in my chest and neck…AWESOME! And the bone marrow…we caught this early, so NO CANCER in the bone marrow. YEAH!! I was SO happy to hear this and knew your prayers were working. I would have been really surprised if something had come up, honestly. I just did not feel it in my bones that anything else would be wrong. :) So after I met with Dr. Powell, he told me we are right on schedule and doing very well. The only thing he warned me of was that it was day 14 of chemo treatment, so as well as feeling crappy the next week, my hair will start to go. I said ok, and didn't think anything more of it...until later that day...
During treatment, this time seemed to go quicker than last time. It was still the two and a half hours, but I stayed busy. I only started to get queasy with the 'B' drug again, so I curled up in my blanket, put my hoodie up on my head, closed my eyes, and listened to my iPod. Next think I knew, Andrew grabbed my hand, squeezed it, and brought me right back to the real world because I was in this 'what the heck kind of world am I in right now?'. I'm serious, this cancer world is so surreal and I'm trying to describe it the best I can but it is so hard (especially since I can barely gather my thoughts as it is!). It's like I go to the Cancer Center, and everyone is so nice and funny. They give me pop cycles, let me watch TV, and just hang out and talk. Would be a great place if they weren't killing off the bad AND good things in my body. But in that moment where I didn't feel good, hooked up to the drugs in 'my chair', Andrew took my hand and he is the real world to me and to me, it makes me like the real world even more. The chemo drug world isn’t all that fun, but thank God for funny nurses.
So how do I feel after the second round of chemo?? Well, the weirdest thing was that as soon as I stepped outside, my nose and lips started burning! Can’t understand that one, but it felt like bees stinging me! But as soon as I got inside my house, it went away and didn’t come back. Being in the sun maybe?? Other than that, I am tired, nauseated, and emotional. More than I have ever been through this all, but I think it is a mix of what happened when I got home, overwhelmed by the love and support I have been shown from you all, and just the dang hormones of being a girl :)

So what happened when I got home? Well, ‘it’ has started. The visual side effects from chemo that is making this cancer diagnosis look me right in the face. I took Cooper outside to do his business while Andrew was mowing the lawn. I waited underneath the shade of the tree when I ran my hand through my hair on impulse. I looked at my hand and about 15 pieces of hair in it. I didn’t think much of it until I did it again, and another 15 pieces came out, just like that. I didn’t freak out. I just stared at it. None of my other senses were working. I was in a freeze frame until I heard the mower coming closer. I looked at Andrew and he came over and just hugged me. I teared up because it was another surreal moment. I knew this could happen, but I wasn’t expecting it this soon and at that time. I’m not sure what time and where I was looking for it to happen, but there was where God wanted me to find out I guess. Andrew and I didn’t talk, we just hugged. I needed that moment, I needed that time, I needed him, I needed those feelings to come out and for him to be there like the supporter he always has been. He made a joke that I can’t even remember now, but I know I laughed and was brought back to real life. I’m SOOO glad I cut my hair short because if that was my long hair in my hands, it could have been a different reaction. This must have been in God’s plan. I am so thankful for my friend’s mom Ginny who let me borrow a ton of her hats to help me during this short time of my life. And Ash came over to help me order my wig and gave me some other things to make me beautiful, hip, and hot. Like she always does. Bless you guys! Though this is bad diagnosis, I have seen such positive things come out of it in my life. But for right now, I just need to take it easy and rest, get my body back to top notch again. And PRAY that the jaw pain doesn't come back...that was the worst!
Oh! And whoever sent the anonymous card with the bull on the front, I hope you identify yourself someday because you must know me well, I died laughing!! I look at it and STILL die laughing! I’m still trying to figure out the handwriting…you're sneaky! I opened it up right after I had my hair situation outside, so once again…perfect timing. I love perfect timings!