Ahhh...home :)

I am HOME!!! The view from the water
(For some reason we got no family pics this year! Just had too much fun I guess :)

What a vacation! I thought vacations were suppose to be relaxing, but usually I feel like I have to relax once I get home too! All in all, this vacation was great. Every year, for the past three years, my parents get a house up at Marblehead to have the family (my 2 sisters, 1 brother, 2 brother-in-laws, and 5 nieces and nephews) come up for a vacation and to spend time together. This year it was different and special for me. Not much of the place has changed over the last three years (kinda comforting actually :), but this year, my grandparents and aunt/uncle had a place right beside us for a week (I even got to see some cousins too!). Lots of fun swimming, walking/talking, playing Pirates Liar, hearing fishing stories (and even eating some of Andrew's famous fish!), the birthday party (Dad loved the scrapbook, too), holding baby Maci lots, just everything was great! I think since having this diagnosis, I have looked at family a little differently. Before, I always knew my family would be there if I needed them, but now, I KNOW my family will be there when I need them. This week proved it :)

The past four days have been a little bitter sweet. I got there on Monday feeling great and ready to see the sand and the fam! I was able to enjoy for a bit until the fertility doctor got back with me after looking over all of our information. Unfortunately, they were not able to help us. It's not their fault, they were wonderful and tried, but we just do not have enough time (and I agree..I'll explain later). I'm glad they were honest with us, because the process is quite expensive. Like I could get a nice car expensive! We are honestly okay with how this turned out, because we know we will have a family one day. But I need to be alive to have that family... I know God did not put me on this earth to not have one :)

So besides the absolute blast we had at the water park on Wednesday with the kids, I about had a heat stroke! It was so hot, and I LOVE being outdoors, but it was harder this year because the humidity really effected my breathing. I did good for a while, but after yesterday and today, I was down for the count. My 'little monster' (as my sister now likes to call the tumor in my chest:) just started to give me problems. I feel like I have a 5 lbs weight just strapped to my chest. It tightens up a lot too which makes it harder to breathe. I try to compare what it feels like to this.....Have you ever put your foot into a shoe that is a size too small? There is no room and it starts to ache and pain? That's what my chest feels like all the time now. There is just no more room for this little monster to grow! So I've been more tired than usual because I can't get a deep breath, consequently, I yawn a lot more...but I can't get a good yawn out cause that takes a deep breath to do, so I have to take like 3 short breaths...just an exhausting process!! Also being nervous for this upcoming week doesn't help my anxiety at all, so I just keep telling myself to take a deep breath, but I can't!! HA HA ;) No worries though...one more week and it will be smaller...Praise The Lord!!! Here's my nieces and nephews at the waterpark :)
So that brings me to tonight, where I was already missing my family's love and support, but I wasn't down for long. I was met at the door by my cat Kota, and for anyone who knows me...she is my true love ;) This cat has been there through thick and thin with me, so it was SOO nice to have her cuddle up with me...even now, she is sitting right beside the keyboard waiting for me to pet her, she is AWESOME! Tomorrow starts the craziness of this Pursuit. I start with the ECHO in the morning and the bone marrow procedure in the late morning. I have discovered through these last few weeks that I am nervous of the unknown. I'm sure everyone is a little. I don't know what to expect from the bone marrow procedure, the new port, or the chemo treatment side effects, so it just makes me nervous. But I usually calm myself down by thinking about the song we sang last week in church called 'Today is the Day'...It simply says that 'Today is the day, I will rejoice and be glad in it, I won't worry about tomorrow, I'm trusting in what You say, Today is the Day.' Which brings me back to just simply living my life for today to the best that it can be...that means enjoying it....and to me, enjoyment was my family this past week at my favorite place, the sand and water.

Love and thanks to you all for your continued support and prayers!!! BLESS YOU!
Laura