Date Night...with the Ladies!

Kayla, Me, Tara, and if I could work photo shop, Ash would be in there too (she's a good mom, her babies needed her at the last minute :) at Roadhouse.
:oD I told you I would be laughing at my last post…or maybe it is just because of the good meds I just got! Wow-what medicine can do for the mind and body! After my frustrating night, I called my doctors office in the morning, explained my pain and within hours, I had the ‘good stuff’ to ease the pain! My body feels MUCH more tolerable now that I don’t have the aching pain in my jaw or throat ( I still have a hard time taking a deep breath, but that should ease up here real soon). I’m actually back to my bed too! So hopefully I will get some nice restful sleep in there. As for my t-shirt dilemma, oh well…I’m just gonna have to start lifting weights so my arms look good in tank tops! My parents did a good job babysitting me on Monday when Andrew was working :) For some reason, I could not gather my thoughts right. I would start something, then never finish it because I would get distracted by something else (this should be real good when I start working again!). Good thing my mom was with me to help me out. I didn’t get my shower until 3:30 that day! Luckily, Linda didn’t mind my appearance as she stopped by :) My parents took me back down to the lake for a drive (we Hochstetler’s love our drives) and I was at home with a smile on my face and meds in my body again.

I had a wonderful date night with my bestest friends tonight Tara and Kayla (and Ash in our hearts :). You know, I say they are my bestest, but my God, I love all my friends! You ALL, old and new, mean the world to me and I would move heaven and earth if you needed me too! Just say the words! Like it says in John 15:12-13 'This is my commandment: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than he that lay down his life for a friend.' My friends have really helped me get through this time by keeping me busy and my mind off of 'it'. They make me get out of bed and I swear they have to remind me to put on makeup! Anyway, this was the first time I have been 'out on the town' (ok, ok, its just dinner...I'm easing my way back into it :) and felt 'normal'. Hmm...Normal.

I apologized to Andrew yesterday because of that word. I said that I was sorry and that things would get back to ‘normal’ soon. Of course, he said I was crazy and that everything is fine just how it is now. But I started thinking about that word ‘normal’. What is ‘normal’? If going back to the way I used to live before cancer was normal, maybe I don’t ever want to be 'normal' again. People hear the word cancer and think about death. I did. But you know what? I have never felt more alive than right now. Yes my health is not so good, but it’s getting better. But my mind...it is in overdrive! You know, for a disease that breaks you down physically, I am so surprised that I have not been broken down hardcore emotionally. I cried the first day I found out (that's a free-be though), and since then, I’ve been pretty doggone good! And it's because YOUR prayers have seriously over come! Instead of breaking me down emotionally, this has been such a strength builder for me! I have honestly found out how STRONG I am in SO many ways through having cancer. Do you know what that makes me want to do?!!? Everything I NEVER thought I could do! Like scuba dive, go through labor (see Sarah, you don’t have to have my kids anymore!), skydive, wear funky hair styles, sing loud in the car with the windows down, get my trip to Holland and Italy, sail away on a cruise, go to New York City during Christmas, dance like no one is around, go lobster fishing, do a missions trip in Africa (a safari wouldn’t be too bad either :), hike up a mountain, write a book, go on a shopping spree with NO regrets, save someone’s life, read a book in a day, buy a boat and sail away, I could go on and on! I have so much more ambition in life that I’m not sure a thing is going to stop me now. Money, no problem…can’t take it to Heaven anyway. Time, well…only God can decide how much I’ll get done in my life - so I better start on this list now! Company, no problem…I know Andrew or any of my family and friends would gladly support and accompany me on any of these adventures (skydiving Dad? ;) And my camera, I gotta take my camera to document all this! But, why hold back? Really? You will only have regrets when you are 65 and saying 'I wish I would have....'. And if you are 65 or older, if you have taken good care of yourself, you have like 30 years ahead of you to go crazy and do things you never thought possible! WHY NOT?!?! What an inspiration you would be! My real hope is this....that I will have a big family when I’m retired and will instill in them the same kind of strength that I have right now in this moment. To try anything, live like there really is no tomorrow, and to love someone like crazy, just like in the movies!! I want my great grandkids to come to Andrew and I when we are 90 and say 'Pappy, what do I gotta do to have a good life?' And then for Andrew to take out our scrapbook of adventures and say 'Do this!' :)
YOU have helped get me to this point in my life and I am forever grateful to you. I will somehow pay it forward, I promise. If this is the reason I got cancer, well ok then. Cause for the first time in a long time, I have goals and I want to LIVE!

Thanks again for your continued support and prayers through this time. I am doing so good so far and a lot of it is because of faith, but a lot of it is because of your support too :)

Sweet Dreams my friends and DREAM BIG tonight!!