ECHO-good, Bone Marrow-OUCH!

You people MUST be praying people because I could NOT have gotten through yesterday without those prayers. Seriously, I could not believe how calm I stayed for such the anxious person that I am. The ECHO was no big deal at all...pretty cool actually! I have never had a sonogram done before so it was really neat to see my heart beating in real life like that. They did this test to make sure my heart is strong enough for the chemo treatment. I would be REALLY surprised if something came back on that test because she said that I am young and don't smoke and my heart looks really healthy. So I guess I won't take up smoking now ;) I had a nurse named Miley and she was neat. We shared the same birthday, so she is the second person I've met to share my birthday!

Then, Andrew and I went to the Cancer Center to have some lab work and the bone marrow biopsy done. They want to do this test to check my copper levels and make sure the cancer hasn't spread to my bones. I was shocked by how calm I was...SERIOUSLY SHOCKED! Because the last time I had a biopsy, the nurse had to give my Xanax my anxiety was so high! I got weighed first and I gained two pounds in a week :) Must have been that good vacation food...and my sister telling me to fatten up for the treatment, so needless to say I LOVE OREO BLIZZARDS! We went back to the room where the biopsy was going to be done and I was still doing good. Then the nurse started to explain what they were going to do...I could feel my blood pressure rising. First of all...I do not like needles. It's not the pain of the needles, I just don't like to look at them so I told the nurse for my blood work to give me the ol '1,2,3' and not let me look. That worked great! I think half my problem is I psych myself out when I see the equipment they use!
The nurse did a great job preparing me for the biopsy though. And before I knew it, it was time. No time for a Xanax this time. And the doc told me it was too late to have a couple beers to take the edge off :) So I leaned on my left side, grabbed Andrew's hand and we were off. Has anyone ever watched 7 pounds with Will Smith?? I couldn't get that picture out of my head of him screaming in pain because he didn't get numbed when he donated bone marrow. And before I knew it, the numbing needle was in, he said it would burn...and BAM! OUCH!!!! I started to apologize for the scream and quote I just laid out and then they started laughing! They said no one had ever apologized for the pain :) After that, we all made jokes the rest of the time and that made the procedure a 100 times better (and go even faster). Because each time it hurt, I would tense up, say 'owey', and they would have me laughing in seconds. That staff is so great and truly meant to be there for people like me!
I can't describe the pain from the procedure, just that I would never want to do it again unless I HAD too. I was proud of myself too because I didn't cry...I waited until they left! HA HA :) Actually, I think I worked myself up a bit because I asked Andrew to tell me what they did. I picked the right profession in teaching because after his description, I could never be a nurse. He showed me how big the needle was and the T looking thingy they used to twist into the bone to draw out the marrow. I couldn't hold back a few tears even though it was over...can you say anxiety anyone?!? I was anxious and the procedure was already done! I'm such a goof :) I was pretty proud of myself though. So proud that I thought I could walk around Wal-Mart and begged Andrew to take me. Dumb idea! The numbness wears off, Laura. We left in a hurry as my lower back started to just ache in pain. We went home and I fell asleep for 3 hours after eating some leftover noodles and mashed potatoes from my grandmas (my FAVORITE!).

So now I'm just relaxing. They lab came back to show that my copper levels are way elevated, which is another sure sign of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He told me I wouldn't turn into a statue or anything, so I'm good to go (I was wondering a bit oddly enough :). I won't know about the other test until next week. I'm starting to figure myself out a little more each day. I know what I can handle and what I just need to give to God because He's a lot stronger than me and can handle it much better. I just remembered this quote 'If you wanna make God laugh...tell Him your plans.' So true, we can make all the plans we want, but ultimatly, He has control. That's why I learned I just need to start giving more to Him to handle...He'll have my back :) Between that and your prayers...I'm golden (like a statue!! :) HAHA

I get to take the pressure bandage off today and see the cut they made to put the needle into. They glued the cut back together and I've never had that done so I'm anxious to see what it looks like....weird, huh? Andrew is at his very last Army drill in Dayton, and I've got nothing planned for today and it is a great feeling. I'm such a planner, but today.......no plans. I'm gonna do whatever comes around and go where ever the wind takes me. Everyone needs one of those days that don't come around very often. You all are pretty awesome people and I couldn't ask for a better support team. Thanks for reading this crazy long blog. Next week's a busy week, so stay posted!